Why Feedback Falls Flat—And What We Can Do About It

As leaders, we want our feedback to matter. We want the time we spend observing, listening, and reflecting to translate into growth for the people we lead. But too often, we walk away from conversations that feel rushed, generic, or surface-level—and nothing changes.

I call this flat feedback. It doesn’t feel good to give, and it rarely leads to growth in practice.

Through my coaching and consulting, I’ve both experienced and witnessed why even well-intentioned leaders fall into this trap. The reasons aren’t always about effort or care—sometimes it’s about the forces working against us. Here are four research-based drivers that often push feedback into flatness:

1. Fear of conflict and discomfort

Feedback can feel risky. Neuroscience research shows that delivering difficult feedback can activate the same “threat response” in the brain as facing physical danger. That stress can cause leaders to soften their words, avoid specifics, or stay at the surface level to protect the relationship. But in doing so, we rob others of the chance to grow.

2. Time pressure and cognitive overload

Let’s be honest: leaders are busy. When we’re juggling deadlines and decisions, feedback can become quick and vague—“good job” or “work on this next time.” Gallup research has shown that feedback without specificity or clear direction doesn’t change behavior. Rushed feedback is often flat feedback.

3. Gaps in coaching skill and stance

Many leaders haven’t been trained to shift from telling people what to do toward building capacity for independent thinking. Without that coaching stance, feedback often becomes a prescription (“do this”) instead of an invitation to reflect, inquire, and grow.

4. Self-protection and bias

Sometimes leaders hold back because of their own fears—fear of being judged, fear of damaging their credibility, or unconscious bias that shapes how feedback is delivered. This self-protection leads to diluted or inconsistent feedback, which leaves others unclear on what really matters.

The good news? Flat feedback doesn’t have to be the norm. With intentional practice, we can rewire how we approach these conversations. Coaching stances and capacity-building strategies turn feedback from something that feels transactional into something transformational.

I’ll be sharing more about this at the Learning Forward Annual Conference this December:

📌 Session: Beyond Good Intentions: Coaching Stances That Move Equity Into Action 

🗓 When: Monday, December 8, 2025 

⏰ Time: 12:45–1:45pm ET (Table Talk) 

📍 Where: Boston, MA

If you’ve ever given feedback that felt like it landed on cement, this session is for you.

What about you? When you think about your own leadership practice, which of these four drivers shows up most often when feedback falls flat?