Leading at the Nexus: The Power of the In-Between

In leadership, we’re often taught to choose a lane — coach or manager, listener or strategist, supporter or decider. But the truth is, most of us don’t live in clean categories. Especially those of us who lead from the middle — who coach, consult, design, and facilitate in the same breath.

We live at the nexus.

The nexus is the space where coaching and consulting overlap. It’s where the deep presence of inquiry meets the strategic pull of direction. It’s where you’re asked to hold space and offer insight — often in the same conversation. And if you’re like me, it can feel like a tension you’re constantly navigating.

But what I’ve learned is this: That tension isn’t a problem to solve — it’s a place to grow.

What Lives in the Overlap

When I reflect on the roles I play in my work — as a coach, a consultant, and a partner to education leaders — I see how often I toggle between offering clarity and holding complexity. Coaching invites reflection. Consulting often requires decisiveness. And both are deeply relational practices.

At the center of that overlap are three essential anchors:

• Trust – in the person, the process, and myself

• Timing – knowing when to wait and when to act

• Discernment – the art of choosing how to show up

  
  

It’s not about getting it perfect. It’s about noticing the moment — and yourself — in real time.

Pause. Purpose. Posture.

In those moments when I feel the pull between guiding and holding back, I return to a simple internal framework I’ve developed:

• 🌀 Pause – Notice the urge to solve or steer

• 🔍 Purpose – Ask: What does this person truly need right now?

• 🧭 Posture – Choose how to show up: coach or consultant

  
  

This framework helps me slow down my instinct to help — and instead, tune into the deeper need of the moment. Because sometimes what someone really needs is not a strategy, but space. Not an answer, but a question. Not direction, but dignity.

A Leadership Practice in Discerning Silence

One of the hardest things I’ve had to unlearn is the pressure to always add value by saying something. Coaching has taught me that presence is value. That listening deeply — without preparing a fix — is not passive. It’s powerful.

And so the biggest shift in my leadership has been internal: Learning to trust that not leading is sometimes the most powerful leadership move I can make.

What if…

I’ll leave you with the question that has stayed with me the most through this reflection:

What if the most powerful part of leadership… is knowing when not to lead?

If you’re navigating your own tension between coaching and consulting — or between support and strategy — I see you. You’re not lost. You’re just living at the nexus.

And it’s a wise, sacred place to be.